I really don’t know what I wanna write right now.

My thoughts are screaming for the love I have for my cat. I don’t know why but I just wanna say something about my cat. He’s always missing whenever I get home.

Then suddenly he will appear and meow out loud until I talked to him and pet him.

The only thing I feel right now and can be sure of what it is, is how great and wide the love I have for my cat, Felix.

Whenever I hear a super soft meow and I already assumed that it’s him outside our house, jumping his way through the tree beside our window. I always assume that it’s him even if that meow came from another cat, or the sound came from another thing.

Right now, no one knows how I love my cat. They say that i’m silly, they say that i’m gross because I kiss my cat even if he’s so dirty.

It never crossed my mind to think that I would never kiss him, that I would never hug him because of the reason that he is dirty and any other reason.

No. Never.

And I think that’s LOVE for me.

LOVE is never thinking of how bad he smells, how dirty he is when he gets home, how much he’s changed a lot when you saw each other after a long time, but LOVE is having that same feeling over and over again, the feeling that you would always wanna be with him and great him the warmest hello and to express the longing you had when you’re away from him. No matter what happens. No matter how many things have changed. No matter how long he’s been gone without coming home to you, you’d still want him. You’d still smile and say “I love you so much that’s why I waited for you.” Love is trusting him that he will come back even if he doesn’t. That hope doesn’t just go away. That hope makes the love feel alive.

Even if my cat doesn’t return for how many days, i’d still think that he’s out there, living the life he deserved, finding himself through the tall grass, no matter how far he wander, I know my cat will always remember how much I loved him. How much I have welcomed him always. How much I am willing to sacrifice everything just to be with him for a little longer. Even if I know that he will again disappear in the morning.


I know he will come back. I trust him that he will.



An open letter from Mr. Right




Dear daughters of God,

Contrary to what you have heard, I do exist. I’m no fairytale hunk with big muscles and thing for chick flicks (although, I may or may not have a man bun). So, put your daydreams of love off to the side for a minute and let me tell you what makes me, “Mr. Right” and why people keep telling you to wait for me.

The first thing I really want for you to understand is that I was not born your Mr. Right. I promise we weren’t destined to cross paths and lock eyes from across a crowded room and fall hopelessly in love. God has been working in my heart for YEARS! Do you realize what was in my heart before Christ saved me?! Of course you don’t because we haven’t met yet, but I can promise you it is equally as crazy and sinful as…

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You’re the VANILLA FLAVOR in my milk tea.

You’re the WING PART of my chicken.

You’re the powdered SOUR CREAM AND ONION to my fries.

You’re that CHEESE in my burger.

You are those COOKIES AND CREAM in my milkshake.

You’re the SCIENCE FICTION in the movie genre.

You’re the PINK COLOR in the color spectrum.

You are my WING and my FELIX among all cats.

You’re the UNFINISHED BOOK i would never wanna finish.

You’re the EQUATION i would always wanna solve.

You’re the CITY that i would love to live at.

You are those STRINGS that my fingers would always wanna strum.

You’re the MELODY i would always love to blend in to.

You are the kind of MUSIC i would always be inclined to.


You’re not one of my favorites.

You’re the one I desire most.

You are the ONLY ONE i would always pick over anything in this world. 😢💔



I miss you so much. I really really miss you. 😭😭💔

I miss how you randomly annoy me with your overprotectiveness.

I miss how you have to check on me every minute, where I am, what I am doing and who I’m with.

I miss how you always remind me to be the best in what I do because you said it is for our future.

I miss those times where we can just be weird (be completely US) and make the most of every minute.

I miss those conversations where we send ugly pictures of ourselves but still compliment each other and convince ourselves that we look great.

I miss how you crack me a joke and even though it’s really not funny, you still think it’s funny and then admit that it is not.

And most especially,

I miss you, my best friend, my partner, my buddy, the one I can relate to, the one I can always count on. The one who is just a text away, whenever I feel frustrated, whenever I feel judged and insecure. You were always there, calling me after a minute I left you a message saying that I need someone to talk to.


You did not only gave me a one-of-a-kind relationship… but you gave me REAL FRIENDSHIP.

What hurts more is now I didn’t only lose a LOVER, but I lost a FRIEND. My BEST-EST FRIEND.

I know we have to experience this kind of pain for us to be more mature and to be the best person we can ever be.


And I don’t want this emotion to drive me and destroy me.


I just miss you.

The whole you.

And the ME when I’m with you.



hi ber nate

It’s hard to keep thoughts to yourself. Especially when there are lots of things happening to you and you just can’t find the reasons how and why you should stay calm.

I created a blog site so that I can release this kind of torture i’m into. I guess this will help and create a peaceful mind for me.

I’m on my way to rediscovering self and to discover more of the unknown.

I’m now stepping out of my comfort zone. All the things that really made me contented and comfortable, I had to runaway from them for a while.

Starting off by deactivating my social media accounts (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, etc.) and trying to release my thoughts from here.

All these distractions, addictions and senseless things that I’m into. I. Am. Now. Getting. Rid. Of. Them.